Late last night, I heard Britt's phone ring. I immediately knew it was Jorge, because his phone announces the caller. My first thought was fear, assuming things have gotten worse with Julia. But there was excitement in his voice on his end. He was letting Britt know that after more than a month without Julia speaking coherently, yesterday morning she spoke.
I realize it seems forever since I've written about our dear Julia. I realized the other day that it's been so long that there are people who don't know she's dying. Or is she dying? We teeter daily on hope for her life. Will God heal her and restore her whole here on earth or will He take her to be with himself?
Let me back up a bit. After months that seemed like forever of chemo treatments, Julia's condition never changed. The treatments didn't seem to effect her cancer one bit. They went on and applied about 28 radiation treatments to her breast. But partway through, we realized that not only had nothing helped her, but the cancer had even spread. It was by then in her lungs, and we soon found out it spread to her brain as well. About a week after our return from the States in August, Julia lost the use of her left arm and leg, and she seemed confused. At first we thought she'd had a stroke. But after they did a CT scan, we realized the cancer was in her brain now. We were devastated at the news. Her original prognosis was so hopeful. But we knew spreading to the brain meant terminal.
Julia's regression declined rapidly at first. After just a few weeks, she was bed-ridden, and could no longer communicate. Jorge had to do everything for her, including feeding and bathing her, which is no small task in a house with no bath tubs and no hot water.
Before she couldn't speak, but was already in and out of awareness, Britt and I went to visit her. It was so difficult to see her like that. I tried to speak a little to her, but she wasn't really coherent until the end of our visit. Right before I left and was alone in the room with her, I leaned in to whisper to her how much I love her and how much she means to me. Tears streamed down her face as she hugged me best she could with her good arm. It was only a day or two after that when she stopped speaking...until yesterday.
What an internal battle I've fought over God's healing power. My mind and heart know it's possible for Julia to be healed. Yet I also know God could choose not to. I recently read the book, Daring to Love by Katie Davis Majors. She devotes a whole chapter to this very topic because of her experience with a dear woman who died after a long battle of sickness. She was so confident that God was going to heal her. But then God chose to allow her to die. Oh the anguish and struggle she went through was so real. I could relate so well. It took her years to come to grips with God still being good, in fact very good amidst a world of pain and death. I'm still in the struggle. But I'm daring to hope. I'm daring to hope no matter the outcome…whether God chooses to heal for earth or for Heaven only.
A few weeks ago our pastor was talking about a friend who has terminal breast cancer through her body, but is still living long past her given time. For now, God is sparing her, and she's using this time to share God's love to the fullest. These stories are incredibly encouraging. If you have stories like this, I'd love for you to share them with me. Please pray for Julia. For healing. For Jorge for endurance and encouragement. He's holding up well under a very difficult task.
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