I’ve prided myself over the years on not being a worrier. Maybe it’s not the technical term on the matter that is taken into account. Because, I do worry. I’ve always believed worry is a lack of faith and trust in God. So when I catch myself worrying, I’ve always given myself the little pep-talk to remind myself that God’s got this.
My latest pep-talks have been over my oldest. He is at that age. He is about 8½ months from being a legal adult, capable or maybe better worded, responsible for his own decision making.
I’ve known from the time he was born and started showing his personality that he would do his own thing some day. And whatever it would be, he would be good at it. He's an all or nothing kind of kid. Always has been.
Right now, he’s anti-school, anti-Guatemala (although he’s mostly respectful about it), and pretty much anti-anything anyone thinks he should be or do (especially his parents). He gets it honest. Neither of his parents really ever wanted to do anything normal or what everyone else did or thought we should do.
The boy wants to go live off the land away from civilization and fend for himself. I have no doubt he can do this. The part I struggle with is why. I remember very clearly his dad going through the same train of thought at that age. It appealed to me. But I like people. No matter how complicated life is with people, I need to be around them.
One day not too long ago when we were driving somewhere and my boy was going on about his hermit dreams, I spoke my mind. How dare I! But I just couldn’t keep my opinions to myself anymore. And I didn’t want to regret someday never having said it. I told him the problem with his dreams…the omitting people part. I reminded him how our purpose in life, being Christ followers, requires us to interact and be around people. There’s nothing wrong in and of itself with living off the land. But excluding oneself from people will eventually leave one feeling unfulfilled and really lonely.
So in the midst of my trying not to worry, God has shown me little pictures of my boy that reminds me not to worry. That He’s got this. The most recent picture was yesterday at the coffee farm where he works. We got to take our first tour with him as our guide. Grandma is in town and wanted to see it for herself. Man, he made me proud. He gave this hour-n-a-half-or-so tour all from memory. He really knows his stuff. They have plenty of Guatemalans employed to give tours in Spanish, but Mickey is the only American employee. And the other employees love that he gives the English speaking tours, because they really hate to have to do it themselves.
Here’s the thing. This boy is really good at this. He was nervous. He had 11 of us on the tour, one being his grandma and two his parents. Lots of pressure. But even with nervousness, he did great with speaking in public. I felt like he has made this his own passion. I loved it when he would say a phrase like, “Here at the finca, we do such and such this way because we…”. To me, this means he has claimed this place as his own. Yet he tells us he wants to leave NOW! Like yesterday now.
I’ve decided in my heart the boy is struggling to become an adult. And I get that. I remember when I was that age. I remember when his dad was that age. It’s a hard time of life. Your heart wants the world. It’s a big world. You can do absolutely anything, in spite of what the world tries to tell you.
In the end, it all goes back to my pep-talk. God’s got my boy. He has a plan. There will likely be hard life lessons needing to be learned. But he will learn them and move on. And be stronger because of them. That’s what happened to us and look where we ended up.
My latest pep-talks have been over my oldest. He is at that age. He is about 8½ months from being a legal adult, capable or maybe better worded, responsible for his own decision making.
I’ve known from the time he was born and started showing his personality that he would do his own thing some day. And whatever it would be, he would be good at it. He's an all or nothing kind of kid. Always has been.
Right now, he’s anti-school, anti-Guatemala (although he’s mostly respectful about it), and pretty much anti-anything anyone thinks he should be or do (especially his parents). He gets it honest. Neither of his parents really ever wanted to do anything normal or what everyone else did or thought we should do.
The boy wants to go live off the land away from civilization and fend for himself. I have no doubt he can do this. The part I struggle with is why. I remember very clearly his dad going through the same train of thought at that age. It appealed to me. But I like people. No matter how complicated life is with people, I need to be around them.
One day not too long ago when we were driving somewhere and my boy was going on about his hermit dreams, I spoke my mind. How dare I! But I just couldn’t keep my opinions to myself anymore. And I didn’t want to regret someday never having said it. I told him the problem with his dreams…the omitting people part. I reminded him how our purpose in life, being Christ followers, requires us to interact and be around people. There’s nothing wrong in and of itself with living off the land. But excluding oneself from people will eventually leave one feeling unfulfilled and really lonely.
So in the midst of my trying not to worry, God has shown me little pictures of my boy that reminds me not to worry. That He’s got this. The most recent picture was yesterday at the coffee farm where he works. We got to take our first tour with him as our guide. Grandma is in town and wanted to see it for herself. Man, he made me proud. He gave this hour-n-a-half-or-so tour all from memory. He really knows his stuff. They have plenty of Guatemalans employed to give tours in Spanish, but Mickey is the only American employee. And the other employees love that he gives the English speaking tours, because they really hate to have to do it themselves.
Here’s the thing. This boy is really good at this. He was nervous. He had 11 of us on the tour, one being his grandma and two his parents. Lots of pressure. But even with nervousness, he did great with speaking in public. I felt like he has made this his own passion. I loved it when he would say a phrase like, “Here at the finca, we do such and such this way because we…”. To me, this means he has claimed this place as his own. Yet he tells us he wants to leave NOW! Like yesterday now.
I’ve decided in my heart the boy is struggling to become an adult. And I get that. I remember when I was that age. I remember when his dad was that age. It’s a hard time of life. Your heart wants the world. It’s a big world. You can do absolutely anything, in spite of what the world tries to tell you.
In the end, it all goes back to my pep-talk. God’s got my boy. He has a plan. There will likely be hard life lessons needing to be learned. But he will learn them and move on. And be stronger because of them. That’s what happened to us and look where we ended up.
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