I'm doing laundry when I hear the faint sound of the door bell down stairs. It's to alert the security guard that someone is at the front gate. I sigh, assuming its our miracle project coming to ask Britt and I for something. Maybe something small, but always something. I hear on the radio she's asking for us. I grow weary. I feel my compassion draining from my heart. Day after day of her begging becomes old. I hate this feeling.
I know their needs are great. But I begin to feel that we're not really helping them. They grow dependent on us. They've lost their desperation for survival. She knows she can just come ask us and we'll come to her rescue. I grow weary. I hate this feeling.
Then I think about Christ. His example. His never ending compassion. No matter how great my needs. No matter how many times I run to him begging. He never. Never. Grows weary. I'm dependent on Him for everything. He never grows weary. I know I can go to Him and ask Him for anything. He never grows weary. Oh how I need a renewed compassion. Long enduring compassion.
And then I know. She doesn't need my compassion. She needs His. Right now, we are probably her only link to Him. Kindness, yet firmness and still lovingly compassionate. We can be Jesus to her. She will see.
So as I grow weary, I realize that His love is grand enough that no matter how weary I grow, His love can shine through us to her. It helps that my steady husband doesn't seem to grow weary as I do. Finding out he has been lied to and manipulated never changes his love for this family. I falter. I fail. I think with my flesh. I grow weary.
Yet, I'm thankful. I'm thankful to be in a place where I'm so desperately needed. Britt and I have been given a unique opportunity to show Christ to this broken family. The walls we must break through are thick and ugly. But He put us, as a couple, on this task because He believes we are capable of completing it. I pray for renewed compassion. I pray to see beyond the ugliness. I pray for a miracle both in my heart and theirs. I pray to no longer be weary.
I know their needs are great. But I begin to feel that we're not really helping them. They grow dependent on us. They've lost their desperation for survival. She knows she can just come ask us and we'll come to her rescue. I grow weary. I hate this feeling.
Then I think about Christ. His example. His never ending compassion. No matter how great my needs. No matter how many times I run to him begging. He never. Never. Grows weary. I'm dependent on Him for everything. He never grows weary. I know I can go to Him and ask Him for anything. He never grows weary. Oh how I need a renewed compassion. Long enduring compassion.
And then I know. She doesn't need my compassion. She needs His. Right now, we are probably her only link to Him. Kindness, yet firmness and still lovingly compassionate. We can be Jesus to her. She will see.
So as I grow weary, I realize that His love is grand enough that no matter how weary I grow, His love can shine through us to her. It helps that my steady husband doesn't seem to grow weary as I do. Finding out he has been lied to and manipulated never changes his love for this family. I falter. I fail. I think with my flesh. I grow weary.
Yet, I'm thankful. I'm thankful to be in a place where I'm so desperately needed. Britt and I have been given a unique opportunity to show Christ to this broken family. The walls we must break through are thick and ugly. But He put us, as a couple, on this task because He believes we are capable of completing it. I pray for renewed compassion. I pray to see beyond the ugliness. I pray for a miracle both in my heart and theirs. I pray to no longer be weary.
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