A Bit on Marriage and My Man

I have a million thoughts go through my mind all at once when I think about marriage. I think about examples of good marriages that we’ve observed over the years along with marriages that we’ve unfortunately watched fall apart. Right now, Britt and I are spending some extra time working with a marriage that is on shaky ground. We don’t really have much to go on in counseling this couple. We’ve never been to school to learn how to mend marriages nor have we read books on the subject…well except for one. The one. Not-to-mention, we are quite aware that it won’t be us who “fixes” anything. The ONLY way this marriage will mend will be through God performing a miracle. The husband is already lying to us. And somehow thinks we’re gullible enough to believe his lies. Dumb Americans? Maybe. But we care. We continue to show our love, regardless.

Britt entertaining some chicos during their nutrition check-up.

What I could spend hours writing about, would be my man. Nobody is perfect. Never once expected him to be. But he has so many qualities that everyone likes.  One of the first things that attracted me to him was how he was with kids. He felt “at home” around them. He never could sit through an adult conversation very long. Didn’t have the attention span for it. But get him around kids, and that’s where he thrived. He played with them on their level. He was on the ground with them, in the lake with them, playing tree-top tennis with them, and eating outside at the kids’ table with them. Of course, now that he has “grown up”, he really hasn’t changed much. He still prefers the company of kids. At this point, I’m convinced that this is the way he will always be. Usually I like it. But sometimes it can become annoying and awkward. Tsh. Tsh.

Another quality that attracted me to him was his “tranquilo” (as we say in Spanish) personality. The man rarely gets up-tight, which is a blessing in our family, since I’m like a roller coaster and can become an emotional wreck in 2 seconds flat. He keeps the peace…usually. He’s slower to react, and takes time to think through almost everything. Whereas I normally react and make decisions on the fly. If you’ve been married awhile, you’ll probably understand what I mean when I say our personalities have somewhat morphed over the years. I’ve become more “tranquilo” (probably because I gave up some of my anxieties and perfectionisms about the time our twins came along), and he’s become more…well, emotional.

Probably the very first thing I was attracted to about my man was his dry humor. He would say things in a group conversation that would have the whole room rolling. It’s not a constant annoying thing. Just enough to make people like him. It made me love him.

Why is marriage on my mind right now? Only because today we celebrate 21 years of marriage together. Hard to believe in some ways. But of course, there’s always the part of me that feels like we’ve always been married. I have now been married as long as I haven’t. Kinda weird. But that just makes it seem like a really long time. It makes me reminisce. I love to tell curious ones how we hooked up and started our lives together. In fact, we’re supposed to do that during our next meeting with this miracle project.

All-in-all, I’m super thankful I hooked up with this one. He’s perfect…for me…in every way. Of course, I don’t treat him that way so much nor tell him so much. But I know it’s true. And just writing this out inspires me to tell him more often what he means to me and why I like him so. Have always had a thing for him.