That Day: When you just want to throw in the towel

It’s been awhile. I know. I had the whole two months of summer off, with plenty of down time to sit and jot a few. I’ve learned two things over the summer (btw, summer in Guate is just not the same as summer in Indiana…weather wise, it’s summer all year here). 1) I’m easily deceived into thinking that people might not like me because of what I might write, and 2) I can’t write unless I’m feeling passionate and motivated. The words just don’t come.

Our 23rd anniversary at our first Guatemalan wedding

at the local amusement park

in the jaws of a dinosaur after watching Jurassic World

being tourists

So this is what’s been on my mind, but am just getting the motivation to put it into words. Raising teens, no less seven presidents, is not for the faint of heart. I have one out of my care and three, practically four (because preteens can be just as painful) in the pit. Plus, that we homeschool. Well, that just magnifies the whole parenting concept 1000%.

doing what she does best

you know, just being zombies…totally normal

holding Julio’s first grandson

I’ve wavered between surviving them and hoping they leave the nest decent adults, to some high flaunting idea that they will become these outstanding world leaders who people will later ask, “And your mother taught you at home, just like X amount of presidents?” The latter one has simmered off into this laughable notion the older they’ve gotten and the more I observe children’s heads buried in their electronics. Pretty sure there are no presidents, except maybe of XBox Corporation, who passed their adolescent years in front of the electronic gaming devices.

I can not/will not ride in this seat again in this country. Just kill me. Way less stressful.

They’re at that age when one argues about literally everything talked about and another doesn’t care about anything talked about. Then the third throws everything in your face that you do wrong, like that somehow justifies their lousy actions or at least makes them feel better about them. I’ve shared this with moms who tell me, “My kids would never sass me nor talk to me like that.” Really? I assume then, you will have raised one of those decent adults that just leads a normal boring life. I’m assuming the reason why my kids are like this is because they’re not going to be normal. And I’m trying to be okay with that.

Discussing their kids’ church lesson…these are the moments. Stirs my heart so. 

We had a day this past week. I was ready to throw in the towel. I felt like I was a loser parent and even more so a loser teacher. I lamented over it with Britt. How they just don’t care. There’s no effort. There’s no appeal. I mean, my kids are learning killer interesting things right now. The life of Bonhoeffer, physics, geometry, world views, current events, and how to use punctuation in the 21st century when nobody cares.

Guess what? My beloved listened to me. He not only listened, but he took matters into his own hands. He sat down and talked to them about it. I really stink at that part. So I was ecstatic that he took on the task, while I was away teaching a Bible lesson on the parable of the sower to a bunch of hurting Guatemalan moms (completely in Spanish no less…no pressure there). When I came home, the teens and hubby were all laying around my bedroom discussing Anne Bradstreet’s, To My Dear Loving Husband. Just saying. He’s quite the man. No child was complaining. Nor arguing. Nor sassing. And all were paying attention. I still don’t get it. He didn’t threaten them. He didn’t yell at them. He didn’t take away any privileges. I did hear some talk over how physics directly could apply to their future job flipping burgers at McDonald’s some day. Wink. Wink. I don’t think they even got that jab.

That night, I went to bed rather confident. Not in myself at all. But definitely in my beloved. He amazes me. And in my soon-to-be-adult teens. I think they just needed a reminder. We are all allowed to have a day. You know…like the one where you just want to throw in the towel. I went to bed that night confident that God’s got this. I will have bad days with my kids. Sometimes it seems more than not. But  in the end, God is still in control of each of their destinies. I will continue doing my part, and try my hardest to do it well. But their end outcome is in God’s hands. Not mine.

already 8…love him!

Then there are two little boys that got tagged on to this family. They change our whole family dynamics. We parent them slightly different in our old age. Plus they are being raised in a whole different culture than their older siblings. That changes everything (kudos if you know what kids’ movie that comes from). I can’t wait to parent them as teens IN OUR FIFTIES!!! For the love, what were we thinking?

Just hanging out naked on the roof. Totally normal.

Transformers. Oh sorry. You just thought this was Reagan, their new friend Caleb and Morgan? Well, you obviously don’t live with primary age boys.