This Age They’re At

“Just for the record”, I told them…day before Mickey left for SD

I feel my age in parenting, forcefully apparent at the moment. Teenagers and kindergardeners and adult children off on their own. Overall, this seems a rather easy stage of life for me. I’m no longer exhausted from the dependent child for their every need. It’s a different exhaustion now. It’s the battle of the mind. The child who’s developing his independent character in becoming an adult. The child who reminds me of my very weaknesses when reminded of his or hers. It is exhausting. Just in a different form. I sleep through the night for the most part. (There are still dogs and bad dreams.) But there are no more poopy diapers or hungry babies.

Just yesterday, when it was time for lunch, Reagan made his own. Now that’s independence at its best. He didn’t even make a mess. Then this morning, the defensive lion inside of me had to be squelched to avoid thrashing the sarcastic teenager’s criticism. I fail mostly. I rarely get it right. I preach one thing. And the very next moment live out the very thing I preach against. My pride does not betray me, when I lash out when being accused of my faults and indiscretions. I see in them the very thing I’m training them not to be. I mark it off as hormonal and call it a day.

“Just do this for your mom, please? I need this picture!”

Then I have my time with my two little nearly dependent blessings that blows me away from nearly every conversation we encounter. Conversations ranging from “If Jacob’s kids (aka the Israelites) were the good guys, why were they always so naughty?” to “If Gideon saw an angel that talked to him, why did he need to use a fleece?” or from yesterday, “Is Jesus really alive right now even though he’s in Heaven?” These boys. They’re such thinkers. Love them so.

I get these nostalgic waves rush over me from time to time. I love their ages for the most part. But there are things (attitudes) I don’t have time for. Of course, as soon as I no longer think about them, they’ll be gone. Just like that. Just like the nearly-eighteen-year-old. Off doing his thing. Never again to be a part of this family unit as it is now. The other day as I was planning out the trip for sending the sixteen-year-olds off to the States for their learner’s permits, I started thinking about how small our family will seem all of a sudden. It takes my breath away. We purposefully wanted to have our kids close in age (Well, until we got to the end and they came unpurposefully. What am I saying? There were like three purposeful births in all!) so we could go through each phase of child rearing with them all together. The part that backfires in that plan is…sure they’re all born, wham, they all grow up and then, wham, we are sitting here...these old folks with two little boys. Yep. Didn’t quite think that one through so good, did we?

“LISTEN kids! The faster you cooperate, the quicker we are done with this.” 

So even though I mess up and smart off to my smartin’ off child, I humble myself and remember how short of a time I have before that smartin’ off chica won’t be at this stage for long. Just like all the other short-lived stages that seemed like they were lasting forever. And I patiently (or try to be so) listen to the questions and long enduring stories and answer the deep thought questions of my five or seven year old, knowing they will be getting their driver’s permits tomorrow and leaving me an empty nest next week. This age they’re at just won’t last long.