Desiring a Bigger God

our home

our home

I’m struggling with insecurities right now that I haven’t faced for several years. One of the reasons moving to Guatemala sounded appealing to us was that we wanted to impress on our kids a bigger view of God. When Britt and I visited the Schmidt’s last October, we were impacted greatly by the unending stories of how God always provided. Often the stories we listened to brought tears to our eyes. Right now, the way we live sometimes it’s hard to see God this way. And it’s even harder to show God to our kids this way. Here. In this country. Don’t get me wrong. I love the country we live in, were born and raised in, and have raised our kids between 3–15 years in. It’s our home and even though we plan to make Guatemala our new home, America will always be our home.

We have noticed over the years of raising our kids how different they are from us…the way we were raised. Their expectations are different. Their desires for more are unending. And they’re persistent. When I was growing up, we had to work our butts off to get something we really wanted. And even what we wanted was nothing compared to our kids wish lists (well, some of them). I am quite certain I would be the same way, raised in an era where it’s not really so hard to earn enough money to buy my own iPod (or back then…my own walkman radio).  And if they aren’t motivated to earn it, who cares? Just wait around until their next birthday or Christmas and ask for it. Right? The ironic thing is, if you raise a kid like this, what kind of adult do you think they will be? My guess is…not much different than the kid.

Mickey on the goal post that he and
Grandpa built several years back

Reagan trying to “holster” his gun.

Our kids have grown up with the mentality that Lowery Sewing and Vacuum Center provides for our every need. And even though both Britt and I constantly tell them, “God is our provider and every thing we have is because of Him not us”, they tend to believe what they see not hear.

Morgan steps in to help. With a gun that big, you need help!

So when God showed us this chance to raise our kids for a little while (maybe some, a long while) in a place where we will have to rely on God for all we have…and provide for them, ourselves, and those we work with, we saw it as an opportunity…a chance to let them watch God provide on a daily basis. We want them to see first-hand how big God is. Because God truly seems bigger to us when we see Him do things only He could do.

Grandpa’s tractor

Mickey…and his latest passion

The problem is, when you decide you are going to raise your kids this way, it means we…the adults…the parents…have to live this way too. This is hard. I remember when we were first married. We were free. We could spend our money however we liked. We also could run out of money without our parents being there to fall back on anymore. We had to pinch our pennies and learn as young adults how to save and be frugal. We actually did pretty good at it. We had good role models too. But I hated living like that. I wasn’t living daily having faith that God would provide. Well, actually, I was. But I never gave Him complete control back then. There’s a big difference.

So right now, as our departure date is looming…daily seeming closer, I’m feeling the fears of living-by-faith creep in. Sure, I know in my heart all of God’s promises. But there’s the whole battle-of-the-mind that I have to deal with.

So pray with us as we enter this stage of life. I want my God to be big in my eyes so that my kids will see that, and He will big in their eyes too.